Found this .txt file while executing a

L O N G  O V E R D U E hard drive backup... 

John's such a H U G E SF Giants fan... i know he's gotta lotta happy right now!!!

JUNE 28, 2004   my undercover brutha



john's missing... 

john turned 45 while under a coma resulting from a stroke.

fathers' day was a few weeks ago.  the three brothers normally pay our respects together, remembering a man none of us really knew.

this time was different.

but oldest brother's absence has uncovered many les-
sons.  the only upside to family tragedy is the unity it uncovers and the perspective it provides.

my two sisters arrived from europe along with john's mom.
all five of dad's kids together for the very first time.

i learn dad was forced to flee his native java to escape persecution and likely execution by indonesian military.  i ask john now that he's with dad to tell dad love him, are proud of who he became and what he taught us.

and that we feel his presence in our lives every day.

new perspective is uncovered in jon's DNR - do not resuscitate order.  after repeated surgeries, by clarifying exactly how he intended to lead out his life, john was controlling at least one possibility.

last week under the cover of the stars above big basin redwood forest i dreamt of john.  he was vibrant and eagerly agreed to join me as we flow through parks, streets, waves and forested mountains.

we smiled, shaking each other excitedly by the shoulders, stoked with the anticipation of our next adventure.

this is how i'll choose to remember john.

i'll know he's always with us...  my undercover brutha.

RIP Bro...